Recently, people from the dark parts of my past have started making surprise appearances in my life, with every intention of trying to smooth things over and pick up where we left off. I know I’m not the only person that has experienced being tempted to let people who hurt us back into our lives. In fact, I bet everyone has experienced this or something similar to this at some point in their lives. Here are some reminders and pieces of advice for those in these types of situations, if you are debating the pros and cons of fixing a relationship with someone from your past.
1.That person was removed or left your life for a reason.
Many times, when we have a falling out with a friend, significant other or family member and there’s no way to mend that relationship, there is a really good reason. Some of the friends I have lost in my past turned out to be people who were using me to make themselves feel better about themselves, were using me to gossip about with other people and were more concerned with tearing me down than building me up. If someone is doing this to you, I highly recommend you consider why you value that relationship and what it is doing to add to your happiness or self-worth.
2. It is easier to be successful when those around you bolster your confidence and treat you well.
Friends who bolster your confidence give the best and most positive vibes, which can motivate you to want to do more! Why wouldn’t you want friends like that?
3. People who truly care about you hurt themselves when they hurt you.
Those who love, care and support their friends will never want to intentionally hurt their friends. If they do intentionally hurt you, they are most likely using you (and probably their other friends) as stepping stones to get to the top. To do this would be incredibly hard for a true friend.
4. Life is not a competition, and your friends shouldn’t make it one.
A girl I was friends with throughout middle and high school happened to be involved in many of the same activities as me. Because of this, we were constantly competing against each other, resulting in both of us lying to each other to seem like we were beating the other. Our eventual falling out happened because of over-exaggerated lies other spread around to others, tainting both of our reputations. Rather than constantly competing with one another, we should have been building each other up and supporting one another.
5.You deserve more than a person who comes into your life only when they need something from you.
There’s nothing much more to it than that. People who only appear when they need you are not the kind of people you need in life. They will do nothing but hold you back from getting to your full potential.